Broken Love
by Justice of the People
Summary: Obi-Wan and Xanatos fled the failing Abductor together, leaving a very angry Sith Lord without his share of the deal. Xanatos/Obi-Wan, SLASH. Non-graphic.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars or Jedi Apprentice, or the characters that belong to George Lucas and Jude Watson. This is just a compliment to their work.

_**Broken Love**_

Chapter 1

I'm full of regret  
For all things that I have done and said  
And I don't know if it'll ever be ok to show  
My face 'round here**  
**Sometimes I wonder if I disappear  
Would you ever turn your head and look  
See if I'm gone  
Cause I fear  
There is nothing left to say to you  
That you wanna hear  
That you wanna know  
I think I should go  
The things I've done are way too shameful

-Maroon 5

Qui-Gon

He had been through a lot in the past three years.

His apprentice was gone; stolen from him with guile and treachery. He had been a victim and a villain at the same time. Qui-Gon's padawan was the betrayed and the betrayer.

He had failed twice before, and yet something had possessed him when he was on a solo mission to the Outer Rim.

It was absurd, the idea that a young boy well beyond the proper age could be trained in the ways of the Jedi. Anakin. Nine years old, completely unheard of.

But the boy was so strong, and so gentle. Anakin's blue eyes shone with innocence, the way that _his_ had glowed before… well, that didn't matter anymore. Qui-Gon would never see him again. Anakin was what mattered now, him and his future as the Chosen One. Qui-Gon had dismissed the idea when he first met the boy, a natural adeptness in the force does _not_ make someone a hero.

But there was something… selfless about the young slave that made Qui-Gon think twice. Purity of his thoughts and actions, devotion to helping others.

_Perhaps_, Qui-Gon had thought. _Perhaps he is._

The doubt had been dimmed and then eradicated quickly. The boy was the Chosen One. He was meant for greater things.

Qui-Gon smiled to himself. Who would have thought the prophecy spoke of a slave living on a backwater world called Tatooine?

He had failed before, but he would not, _could_ not, fail this boy.

~*~

"Master?" Anakin asked, glancing up with his large blue eyes.

"Yes?" Qui-Gon smiled back at him. They had been relaxing after their training session, and Anakin hadn't stopped fidgeting. Qui-Gon knew there was something on his mind.

Anakin glanced out the window, and then returned his stare to Qui-Gon. The Jedi Master was shocked by the fear in the young boy's eyes.

"Do you sense it?"

"Sense what?" Qui-Gon asked, bewildered.

"The darkness," Anakin's eyes fell to his hands, as if ashamed.

"I don't sense anything," Qui-Gon said gently. "You're alright Ani."

"I'm not afraid for myself," Anakin shook his head. "It's someone else who is in danger. Someone I think I'm connected to, but I don't know how."

Qui-Gon placed a hand on his young padawan's shoulder. "Who is it?"

"That's the problem. I don't know."

"Insight should never be ignored Anakin," Qui-Gon said softly. "But enigmatic messages from the force should not solely occupy your mind. Log this knowledge away, and you'll have it when you need it. Until then, focus on what is happening now, in this place."

"Yes master," Anakin nodded.

Anakin looked slightly dejected, and Qui-Gon's heart panged. He wasn't making friends at the temple, though on Tatooine people seemed drawn to his happiness and charisma. He was soaring through his studies, but Qui-Gon feared that he felt intimidated by those around him. They had been Jedi potentials all their lives; he had only been at the temple for a few short years, and had yet to go on a single mission.

Qui-Gon sighed deeply. "We'll finish later. It's time for your class."

Anakin's eyes flashed with an emotion Qui-Gon couldn't identify. "Do I have to?"

The Jedi master raised an eyebrow. "Of course, how else will you learn?"

Shaking his head, Anakin fiddled with a loose thread on his tunic. "The instructor for this session, Master Bant, makes me… uncomfortable. I don't think she likes me."

For a moment Qui-Gon didn't know what to say. He himself had spent the last three years avoiding Bant for the same reason. She was such a huge part of… the past that it pained him to be around her. A past that Anakin knew nothing about, and that he wanted nothing more than to forget. Perhaps being near the boy reminded Bant of her own personal pain as well.

"She does not dislike you Anakin," he said softly. "You just remind her of someone she once knew."

The young boy looked at Qui-Gon with wide blues eyes. "Who?"

Qui-Gon shook his head.

"It doesn't matter anymore."

~*~

Bant didn't make eye contact with Qui-Gon when he left Anakin in her care. They had been doing this for the last few years, and it seemed silly to suddenly acknowledge each other now. There was too much grief, and it was better this way.

Qui-Gon felt especially heavy as he walked back to his quarters. Some days the pain was light, almost nonexistent. Anakin was a joy, and he made his master smile again. But the boy couldn't always be carefree, and when his despondent days came Qui-Gon felt completely lost and alone.

He sighed as the door to his chamber slid open silently. Sometimes his sleep was peaceful, but other times it was haunted with nightmares of a ship of slaves and a boy he would have died to save. The Jedi Master didn't bother with the lights when he entered the room.

There was a sudden ripple in the force that startled Qui-Gon. Someone was there with him. He turned sharply towards the window. There was a man silhouetted by the dancing Coruscant lights.

The figure turned slowly.

"I need your help."

~*~

**A/N**: Hey guys! Thanks to all of you who have returned, and welcome to all of you who are new. This is the last part of my Xanatos/Obi-Wan trilogy, and it's spanned for several years now so kudos to all of you who have stuck by me. I intend to actually have a schedule for this story so that you guys aren't waiting over a month for an update like last time. I'll be updating every other week from now on, so the next update will be Nov. 28. I can't guarantee what time of day it will be, but I promise that the new chapter will be up. I hope you enjoyed this first chapter, please review.


	2. Chapter 2

WARNING: Minor torture.

**Chapter 2**

In the memory you'll find me  
Eyes burning up  
The darkness holding me tightly  
Until the sun rises up  
Moving all around screaming of the ups and downs  
Pollution manifested in perpetual sound  
The wheels go round and the sunset creeps behind  
Street lamps, chain-link and concrete  
A little piece of paper with a picture drawn floats  
On down the street till the wind is gone  
The memory now is like the picture was then  
When the paper's crumpled up it can't be perfect again

-Linkin Park

Qui-Gon

"Obi-Wan," he whispered, too shocked to form a complete sentence.

Obi-Wan's brow furrowed in… guilt? Shame? Qui-Gon couldn't tell; he could barely bring himself to wonder. The Jedi couldn't even imagine what Obi-Wan was doing there. After everything that had happened, it just didn't seem right. He had left, betrayed Qui-Gon for _Xanatos_, the man who had repeatedly tried to kill both of them. It was foolish and wrong, and the boy had known these things. Yet he still went.

"I need your help," Obi-Wan repeated.

Uncharacteristic anger woke Qui-Gon up from his reverie. "My help?" He demanded. "I've tried to help you before."

His former apprentice visibly flinched. "This is different, you wouldn't just be helping me. You'd be helping everyone."

"Who is everyone?" Qui-Gon asked, his voice more spiteful than it had ever been. "Xanatos?"

Obi-Wan hesitated. "Yes, Xanatos needs your help too."

Qui-Gon took two calming breaths, releasing his anger. His next words were without bitterness.

"I'm sorry Obi-Wan, I cannot in good conscience help Xanatos. Or you."

Obi-Wan cast his eyes downward.

"But master, the Sith are back. And they have him."

~*~

Xanatos

The pain was a weapon in his hands.

He knew what the Jedi would think, what they would say.

_Acknowledge the pain, thank it, let it go._

But he was stronger than them.

"My master will not be denied," a low voice said from above him.

Xanatos smirked at the Zabrak. Blood was leaking from the gash in his forehead and his wrists had been rubbed raw by the vibrocuffs, but he was alive. And that meant he would at least _pretend_ to be in control.

"Are you still only an apprentice, Maul?" Xanatos asked. "Your master is wise indeed. He chose a student too weak to ever depose him."

"I'll show you weak Xanatos," Maul hissed, leaning close to Xanatos face. "When you're begging me for mercy you'll see what weakness is."

Xanatos laughed roughly, blood from where he bit through his lip splattered against his cheeks. "Tell me, what do you believe your master thinks of you? He's looking very hard for Obi-Wan. Do you really think that he wants the boy to do anything more than replace _you_?"

Most men would not taunt an unstable Sith Lord armed with abuse apparatus while bound to a table. Xanatos was not most men. He would not bow to this Sith, his master, or anyone at all, and he would not give in to their demand.

Obi-Wan finally belonged to him. And things were going to stay that way.

~*~

Qui-Gon

It didn't make any sense. The Sith couldn't be back, not without the Jedi council feeling their prescence. It wasn't possible.

"The Sith have Xanatos?" he asked increduously. "Are they drinking tea? Discussing different ways to bring down the Jedi? Which would be most efficient, which the most painful?"

"Xanatos is no Sith Lord," Obi-Wan said defensively. Hurt.

"They are different only in name."

The already tattered veils of Obi-Wan's strength fell away. "They're hurting him."

Qui-Gon felt his resolve falter. This was not his battle, not his place to get involved. But Obi-Wan had been like a son to him once…

"Why would they want to hurt Xanatos?" Qui-Gon tried not to ask. He wanted to stay as far from this situation as possible. The last thing he needed was to entangle himself – and Anakin – in another of Xanatos's schemes. They don't end well for his apprentices.

Obi-Wan dipped his head, turning slightly away from Qui-Gon. But not before the Jedi Master saw his unshed tears.

"I don't know. They haven't demanded anything of me, or contacted me at all."

"How do you even know it's them?" Qui-Gon was growing more skeptical by the minute. It would be just like Xanatos to use his ex-master's lingering affection for Obi-Wan against him. But would Obi-Wan go along with it? Qui-Gon didn't know. In all honesty, he wasn't sure that he ever really knew the boy at all.

"About a standard week back Xanatos told me they would come for him," Obi-Wan shook his head. "I don't know – he wouldn't tell me why, or how he knew. He just said that they were coming, and that there was nothing I could do to stop them."

"And that's all?"

"That's all!" Obi-Wan nearly shouted, his voice breaking. "I have no idea what it could be, nothing makes sense. He was never missing for extended periods of time, or was never entangled with the Sith in any way that I could see…"

"Unless it happened before you left with him."

Obi-Wan froze. "That's not who he is. He isn't one of them."

Qui-Gon didn't believe that. The Sith were a religion, a set of beliefs and codes that Xanatos did not follow – he was never one for rules. But they were also an ideal, the kind that a dark man like Xanatos might easily aspire too. He might not have wanted the laws, but he would certainly want the power.

Obi-Wan's large blue eyes watched him hopefully, and for a split second – a fleeting moment – Qui-Gon almost relinquished.

"I'm sorry," he said instead. "But I can't help you."

~*~

Xanatos

He writhed against his bindings, sucking in a deep breath as the laser-whip left his flesh, a bloody, seeping line in its wake. His relief was momentary, the weapon returned with extra momentum. He did not cry out – he was in control of himself enough to deny the Sith this pleasure – but he knew that his face was contorted in pain.

If it wasn't for the force collar and the vibrocuffs things would be different. He knew that he could take the whelp, even without his lightsaber. Rage and hatred were the only things keeping him going now.

"My master wants the boy," Maul hissed inbetween strikes.

Xanatos didn't have the strength to answer. Rhetorts formed on his tongue, but never quite made it out; he was sure that if he opened his mouth to speak he would vomit. The intensity of the laser turned up.

Each stroke slid through the flesh easier than the first until Xanatos was sure that his chest was nothing but ribbons of skin coated in blood.

Then the whipping stopped. Xanatos winced, with every second that passed he expected a stronger, more devastating blow. None came.

"Xanatos," a raspy, dark voice said. "And I thought you were so intelligent."

The dark Jedi smiled, blood shining on his teeth. "Is Maul so incompetent you had to come out here yourself Sidious?"

A hooded man stepped forward, the Zabrak standing obediently behind him. "Your taunts will not affect me boy."

Once again, Xanatos wished that he was not bound to the table. He could take them both, he was sure of it. Or at least maim them. Badly and painfully.

"All we want is your Jedi."

Xanatos returned his cobalt eyes to Sidious. "There in itself lies the problem. He's _mine_."

Sidious laid a hand on Xanatos shoulder, the salt on his skin burning the dark Jedi's wounds. "I was promised him."

"You weren't," Xanatos snapped, ignoring the pain. "You twisted our deal by trying to double cross me."

Sidious laughed. It was chilling. "Because you _weren't_ going to double cross _me_?"

"I won't give you Obi-Wan."

"Oh no my boy," Sidious stepped back. "You will."

He looked at Darth Maul. "It's be unfortunate if he bled to death. Cauterize his wounds."

His black cloak swirled around him as he left the room, the hum of Maul's lightsaber and Xanatos's pained breaths fading into the distance.

~*~

**A/N**: Sorry this is a day late, I got caught up in other stuff. I hope you liked it, please review.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Cause people change  
can't you see my eyes  
are they not the same after the lies?  
I know I'm like a machine  
but I still have dreams  
I know one day we will...  
sleep for days  
come over, come over  
I won't make the same mistakes  
come over, come over  
I'm dying not to hurt you  
in our dreams, we can be complete again.

-Cobra Starship

Xanatos

His eyes opened instantly. Like most trained in the force he slept lightly and awoke easily.

Stretching out his slumber heavy limbs he glanced at the other side of the bed. Obi-Wan slept peacefully beneath the Telosian silk. The boy was there every morning, but Xanatos found himself always checking, just to be sure.

It wasn't that he was concerned, Obi-Wan wouldn't just leave. He even said goodbye to _Qui-Gon_. Besides, Xanatos could find him no matter where he went in the galaxy. The question was whether or not he would want to be found. Xanatos wasn't the type of man to take "no" for an answer, but forcing Obi-Wan to stay with him would make the Dark Jedi fell… guilty.

Pushing back his self-disgust he climbed out of bed, intent upon the shower. He turned the water on and let the heat work out the kinks in his back. There was always something about showers that enticed him beyond anything. Well, almost anything.

The glass door slid open and Obi-Wan stepped in behind him, breathing in the soapy smell.

"Morning," he mumbled, resting his head on Xanatos's shoulder, his eyes fluttering sleepily. A deep calm washed over Xanatos, the kind he only felt when that specific boy was near.

"Did you sleep well?" the question was almost rhetorical, a polite pretense. He knew he had.

"Yes, but sleep time is over."

The dark Jedi glanced at his lover curiously. "Of course, it's morning."

"No Xanatos," Obi-Wan looked up at him, his eyes glowing yellow. "It's so much more than that."

Xanatos awoke on the cold floor of his cell staring up at Darth Maul's rotting smile.

"Wake up Xanatos."

~*~

Obi-Wan

"You have to leave."

"Qui-Gon, please," Obi-Wan begged, tears falling down his face. "I don't know where else to turn. You're my only hope."

The Jedi Master walked past Obi-Wan toward his quarter's door. "I'll escort you out."

"Don't do this. Don't turn you back on someone in need."

"This could be a trick."

"I wouldn't do that to you," Obi-Wan pleaded.

"But Xanatos would."

The boy shook his head. "What can I say to convince you?"

"Nothing," Qui-Gon stared ahead, through the open door and into the hallway of the temple. "I am sorry."

Obi-Wan didn't say another word as he escorted him to the front door of the temple. The temple was large and the walk took several minutes, but still the boy remained silent until the came to the exit.

"You won't reconsider?" he asked softly.

Qui-Gon didn't respond for a moment, and Obi-Wan didn't know what to make of his silence. It was unnerving.

"No, I won't."

He nodded dejectedly and walked out the door, sensing Qui-Gon's departure as he returned to his quarters, or elsewhere in the temple. Obi-Wan didn't care anymore.

It wasn't over yet, there was still one other person he wanted to see, someone he _had_ to see. Drawing his lightsaber from where he'd hidden it in his tunic, Obi-Wan hooked it to his belt. He had cut his braid when he left the order, but silently hoped that he appeared older enough to have simply faced the trials at a young age. He had been wise enough to wear Jedi garb when he returned to the temple so that he might sneak around unnoticed.

_Sneak around_. Obi-Wan tried not to think about how once the temple had been his home, now it was someplace he was infilitrating.

He walked back through the gates intently. If you act like you belong no one will assume you don't. No one could appear to belong at the Jedi temple better than a former Jedi. His footsteps knew which routes to take, and he was where he wanted to be quickly. He buzzed at the door. It slid open quickly, and he almost sighed with relief. She was there, and alone.

"Obi-Wan," Bant breathed. "You're back."

The former Jedi smiled with real pleasure. He had missed her.

He stepped forward and embraced her tightly, holding her for a moment before releasing her. "Not really back. I just came to speak to Qui-Gon," his face fell with despondence. "Can I come inside?"

"Of course," she stepped back and let him into her room, closing and locking the door behind him.

"Xanatos – we're in trouble."

Tears reflected in Bant's large eyes. "Xanatos? This is about _Xanatos_? You left us for him and you came back for him?"

"Bant," Obi-Wan said softly. "It's not just Xanatos. The Sith are back. They never really left."

"The Sith?" Bant demanded, almost laughing with disbelief. "You can't be serious. You ask Qui-Gon to help Xanatos and then say that the _Sith_ are here?" She shook her head. "No Obi-Wan, even if the Sith were back, why hurt Xanatos? He's hardly any different from them."

Obi-Wan's brow furrowed, hurt reflected in his face. "Xanatos has changed."

"Maybe," Bant shook her head. "Or maybe you've changed."

"You don't honestly think that."

"Once I thought that you would never leave the Jedi order too. But you did. Twice actually."

Obi-Wan's stare hardened. "If you think so poorly of me then we have nothing more to discuss."

"I guess not."

_This can't be happening_. He turned his back, not trusting himself or what he might do in his despair. Everyone he had ever trusted had turned their backs on him. He tried to ignore the biting truth that he had turned on them first.

"When did you get so cold?" he asked softly as he left. Bant didn't answer.

~*~

Qui-Gon

It had been so long. He had almost forgotten.

They always come back to haunt him.

"Surprising, this development is," Yoda shook his head slowly.

They were meeting in the Room of a Thousand Fountains without the knowledge of the other council members. It wasn't in the Jedi nature to lie, but that didn't necessarily mean that everyone had to be informed either. Qui-Gon didn't want the entire Jedi Council to think that because Obi-Wan infiltrated the temple once he might do it again, but with malicious intent. He could make sure that the boy was left alone to save Xanatos. That he could do for him. For them.

And he needed Yoda's guidance.

"Look away from those in need, we do not," Yoda said thoughtfully. "But acceptable in this instance, it may be."

He shook his head again, sorting out his thoughts. "If involved, the Sith are, aware, the Jedi Council must be."

Startled, Qui-Gon looked at the diminutive master. That is exactly what he _didn't_ want to happen.

"But we don't know if the Sith are involved. There is no evidence, just Obi-Wan's word."

"Enough, Obi-Wan's word would have once been."

Qui-Gon almost flinched. "That was a long time ago Master."

"Not long enough, I think," Yoda placed a small hand on Qui-Gon's arm. "Heal the wounds of old, new apprentices do not. Know this better than anyone, you do."

He nodded distantly. "I don't know where I went wrong with Obi-Wan."

"Nowhere. Made the choice alone, he did. Found something more important than the order, he did."

Yoda's statement pulled Qui-Gon out of his reverie. "He was tricked."

"Know that, we do not."

The other man didn't respond. He was sure, even if he was alone in his certainty. Obi-Wan didn't leave because it's what he wanted, he left because he was brainwashed.

"Inform the council of these developments, I must. Come with me, you shall."

Qui-Gon followed the Jedi Master obediently, his mind already made up. He would not help Xanatos.

~*~

A/N: Hello my most beloved readers. I'm sure that you all hate my lying butt by this point, and I really can't say anything about the long delay except I'm sorry. Now that's it's summer I should be posting more, and I hope to finish this story before school starts again in August. Love you guys, please review!


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

My eyes can't believe what they have seen.  
In the corner of your room you've stockpiled millions of my memories.  
Oh doctor, doctor, I must have gotten this sick somehow.  
I'm going to ask you a series of questions,  
And I want them answered on the spot, right now.  
Is it serious?  
I'm afraid it is.  
Am I gonna die?  
Well son, death is gonna catch up to all one day  
But yours is coming quicker than ours, then ours…

-The Academy Is…

Bant

How _dare_ he.

How dare he vanish for all that time and then come back wanting _help_. Who did he think he was?

Bant paced her room, trying to drive away her fury.

Accept it, let it go. Accept it, let it go. It just wasn't working that night.

She knew what she _should_ do, what was morally right. But she didn't want to be moral, she wanted to hate him. For once in her life she wanted to do something that she knew was wrong, but it made her feel better so she did it anyway. Just once, and then she'd never do it again.

Obi-Wan didn't deserve their help.

She leaned toward the vapor spray in her room, suddenly finding it hard to breathe. She inhaled the moistened air deeply.

He was her dearest friend. Sometimes she missed him like a piece of her body was gone. Phantom limb syndrome. She almost laughed at the absurdity of it.

She knew that she wasn't going to get her one morally wrong choice that night. Maybe someday she would turn her back on right and wrong, but not then. Not yet.

She grabbed her robe and left the room.

~*~

Qui-Gon

Never in his life did Qui-Gon wish he wasn't a Jedi.

A Jedi's life was hard. He knew this, he warned Anakin of it. But not when he found himself tied to a master who didn't understand him, nor when he lost Xanatos and Obi-Wan, nor even when Tahl died did he desire another life for himself. Not until the council sat before him deliberating did he want to be someplace, or someone, else. They were discussing what to do, but Qui-Gon already knew what would be decided.

He knew that soon he would be flying off to save the only person in the whole galaxy he did not wish to help.

The fact that he didn't want to help, that he was indifferent to Xanatos's fate, weighed heavily upon his conscience. He felt even guiltier that his new apprentice, so very young, could probably sense his disregard for Xanatos's well-being.

Qui-Gon rested his hand on Anakin's shoulder reassuringly.

He did still care for Obi-Wan. That had to count for something.

"Xanatos has made his hatred of the Jedi very clear," Adi Gallia's strong, sure voice broke through his reverie. "If Qui-Gon were to save him, what would keep Xanatos from killing him for the favor?"

"It is not our nature to turn away those in need," Ki-Adi-Mundi pointed out thoughtfully. "While Xanatos is a potential, and lethal, enemy, Obi-Wan has never wronged us."

"Obi-Wan betrayed us!" Adi disagreed sternly.

"Have a right to leave, all Jedi do," Yoda shook his head. "A betrayal, that is not."

"Furthermore," Mace Windu continued, as if he and Ki-Adi-Mundi were on the same force wave, "if the Sith are involved, we must know about them and the danger they present now, before something worse occurs."

Qui-Gon saw Yoda's eyes close briefly, as they do when he's considering. The argument would be over soon.

"Correct, Master Windu is," Yoda said, opening his eyes. "More dangerous than Xanatos, the Sith are. Respond to Obi-Wan's plea, we must."

Qui-Gon nodded, though inside he had already consented. He knew the verdict before entering the chambers.

"Qui-Gon," Adi said, almost gently. "I will go if you do not wish to. This won't be easy for you."

"No," he answered. "I know Xanatos better than anyone, and I'll have more luck predicting his actions. I must be the one to go."

Mace nodded. "Then may the force be with you."

Qui-Gon bowed and left the room, followed closely by Anakin.

"Master?" the boy began when the doors behind them had closed. "How will you find Obi-Wan?"

He glanced out the window. It was almost sunset.

"I know where he'll be."

"I'm not going with you, am I?"

Qui-Gon looked at the boy's despondent blue eyes. The boy he had put his faith in, just when he thought he had nothing left to offer.

He knelt down so that he was at the same eye level as Anakin. "This may be the most dangerous mission I've ever been on. I can't risk you."

Anakin cast his eyes downward in disappointment.

"I don't want to risk you either, master."

Qui-Gon smiled, attempting warmth. He doubted it was very comforting. "I'll come back. I promise."

"Will you ever tell me who they are? Xanatos and Obi-Wan?"

The Jedi Master almost flinched. "Someday I will. I promise."

Without another word he turned and left.

He had lied to the Jedi council. While he did know Xanatos best, that amounted to nothing.

No one could predict Xanatos.

~*~

Obi-Wan

The great thing about being force sensitive was that you were able to remember what you wanted to, and forget what you didn't. You were in control of your own mind.

Obi-Wan wanted to retain every moment he and Xanatos had in the short time they'd spent together. The Jedi weren't going to help them, and he didn't believe he could save Xanatos on his own. He felt the tug of an older memory, from right after they left _The Abductor_…

"_So what do you think?"_

_Xanatos traced a pattern on Obi-Wan's bare back absentmindedly._

_He was referring to his house in the Telosian country. _Their_ house, Obi-Wan corrected himself. It was his home now too._

_Though he didn't know what Xanatos expected him to judge. He barely saw any of the manor before they collapsed on the bed, passion getting the best of them._

"_It's beautiful," he said anyway. He really didn't care if Xanatos took him to a mansion or a shack. They could sleep on the ground in a field for all it mattered to him._

_Xanatos responded by kissing the small of his back before trailing up his spine. He licked the shell of his ear._

_Obi-Wan closed his eyes and focused on the warmth of Xanatos's body against his. Then he rolled so that he was face to face with the older man._

"_I love you," he whispered, almost self-consciously._

_Xanatos raised an eyebrow. "Prove it."_

_He crashed his lips against Obi-Wan's. The boy could feel his need pressing against him._

"_Again?" Obi-Wan asked melodramatically. "I'm too tired." It was a lie and they both knew it._

_His lover smiled at the challenge. "What about all that Jedi stamina?"_

"_Well, that comes with the lightsaber, and since I no longer have mine…"_

"_I told you to keep it."_

_Obi-Wan's eyes grew distant. "What use did I have with it?"_

"_What use do _they_?" Xanatos snapped._

_The boy stared at him for a moment. "Don't. I don't want to fight."_

_Xanatos sighed. "I don't either."_

"_That's a lie," Obi-Wan laughed. "You love to fight."_

_The Dark Jedi gently bit at the boy's ear. "But there are activities I prefer."_

_Obi-Wan shivered as Xanatos moved his body so that he was between the boy's legs. He grazed kisses along his cheekbone as he slid into him slowly. Obi-Wan moaned softly and dug his fingers into Xanatos's hair…_

The sun began to set around him, and he released the memory, his body and soul aching with longing and loss. If he couldn't save Xanatos, he didn't know what he would do. He had gone straight from being a Jedi to being Xanatos's kept lover. What else could he be?

"I knew that you'd be here. I guess some things never change."

Obi-Wan turned sharply to see Qui-Gon approaching across the building's roof. "You loved to watch the sunset from here when we had time on Coruscant."

The boy turned away. "I may be heading towards my death, so I wanted to see it one last time."

His words sounded bitter, though he hadn't wanted them to. He didn't want things to end like this, not with Qui-Gon.

"You won't be dying on this trip," Qui-Gon said softly. "The council believes that I should accompany you."

Obi-Wan eyes widened with hope and relief, and his former master smiled slightly. "Do you know where to start?"

The boy nodded quickly. "I came on a passenger line…"

"I have a transport."

"I want to leave as soon as possible. Tonight."

~*~

Anakin

He knew he shouldn't question his master or feel angry that he wasn't joining him. But he did.

Qui-Gon didn't want to help those people, Anakin could sense it. So why was he? _Who are they? _

Not knowing what would happen was driving him insane.

Lost in his thoughts, he wasn't paying attention to where his feet fell, and he crashed into Master Bant Eerin. She looked down at him in confusion.

"Master!" Anakin stuttered. "I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention…"

"Did Obi-Wan tell Qui-Gon where to find him?" She demanded suddenly.

Anakin froze in shock. "I guess so…"

"Do you know where?"

"No."

She sighed in frustration.

"You could always try calling Qui-Gon. You might even catch him before they leave."

She looked at Anakin as if she'd never seen him before. "_They?_"

"He and Obi-Wan are leaving, I don't know when. I'm not going." He knew he shouldn't display his irritation in front of a Jedi Knight, but he couldn't help it. She was oblivious anyway.

"Do you know which ship they're taking?"

"Well sure, I always ask…"

Bant leaned down so that she was eye to eye with Anakin. "Ani," she said gently. "Would you like to go?"

~*~

**A/N**: So that's what I have for now. Sorry there isn't more Xanatos, I'll try to work him into the next chappie. Hope you enjoyed it, please review!


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

How did we get here?  
Well I used to know you so well, yeah  
How did we get here?  
Well I think I know  
Do you see what we've done?  
We've gone and made such fools of ourselves.

-Paramore

Obi-Wan

"How do you know where to look?"

Obi-Wan lounged back in the pilot seat of their borrowed starship. It wasn't as… _sexy_ as Xanatos's ships were, but it had much more power than anything Obi-Wan would have been able to get his hands on.

"He told me," the young man responded. "More or less."

Qui-Gon raised his eyebrows incredulously. "And what does 'more or less' mean?"

It was surreal almost to the point of being disturbing. Qui-Gon's joking manner had launched Obi-Wan into his past. He had to consciously remind himself that he was no longer a padawan, and Qui-Gon was not his master. As much as he wanted to divulge everything to the other man, he wanted to avoid incriminating Xanatos even more. And since he didn't really understand Xanatos's involvement, the less said the better.

"That's not really important."

The Jedi master studied his former apprentice with an unreadable gaze. It took the boy's entire composure to return the stare unflinchingly.

"So where are we headed?" Qui-Gon broke the eye contact first. It was a small, flavorless victory for Obi-Wan.

"I doubt you want to know."

"We need to clear the air here Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon said, his voice steady and calm. "I am not here to assist you. I have my own priorities and responsibilities, and for Xanatos to remain among them you have to work in tandem with me."

And with a few sentences, Qui-Gon had won a more decisive victory. Even away from the Jedi, Obi-Wan had a lot to learn about warfare.

"Korriban," Obi-Wan relented. "We're going to Korriban."

Qui-Gon glanced at him sharply. "You can't be serious."

"Unfortunately, I am. That's where they've taken him."

Returning his gaze to the viewport, the older man shook his head. "They'll have a great advantage."

Obi-Wan nodded, but said nothing. When did he become the recipient of Qui-Gon's steely stares?

_How did we get here?_

~*~

Qui-Gon

He did not know this man before him.

He had known Obi-Wan. He could predict his actions and understand his motives. He was his son.

This was not Obi-Wan, and it was certainly not who he was meant to be. This was someone else, someone that Xanatos had created. Qui-Gon studied the familiar features, hoping for a trace of the child he had loved.

There was nothing.

Without a word he left the cockpit, unable to stand it any longer.

~*~

Bant

_I must have lost my mind._

"I don't think my master will be happy that we stowed away," Anakin whispered to her, thought they couldn't be heard from the cargo bay where they were hiding. Despite his foreboding words, she could sense the excitement flowing in streams through his body and over his skin.

"He won't be," Band agreed. "But you have a right to accompany your master."

Before being apprenticed to Kit Fisto, Bant had another master, Tahl. She had frequently left Bant behind, including on the mission where she met her demise.

Bant swallowed back the memory and the guilt. She would never wish that on anyone.

"Where do you think we're headed? Someplace dangerous?" the thirteen-year-old asked hopefully.

_He's so very young_, she thought with concern.

"I have no idea."

"How are we going to join up with them? Are we just going to reveal ourselves now or wait until we get there?"

She frowned. That was something she hadn't considered.

"I think we should just go out now," the boy said matter-of-factly. "What are they gonna do? Turn the ship around?"

He was on his feet before she could answer. She snatched at his boot quickly.

"That might not be wise."

"Then what should we do?" He demanded impatiently.

"We should wait," she tugged on his arm so he would sit again. "And reveal ourselves when the time is right."

He didn't look convinced.

"That's what a Jedi would do," She continued.

With a sigh he sat down beside her. "And when will the time be right?"

"How about now?"

It wasn't either of them who spoke. Bant looked at the suddenly open cargo bay door, where a male silhouette was illuminated. Qui-Gon had found their hideout.

So much for not being heard.

~*~

"We have to return to Coruscant," Qui-Gon said the minute they entered the command room.

"_What?_" Obi-Wan demanded, then saw Bant and Anakin behind his former master. "What's going on?"

"We… stowed away," Bant answered miserably.

It was strange seeing Obi-Wan before. Now it was just awkward. She had snuck aboard their starship like a first year. She and Anakin were standing in the cockpit, and it was worse than being interrogated by the Jedi Council.

_The best part is_, she contemplated ironically, _had I asked, I bet they would have invited me along anyway._

Her discomfort was nothing compared to Qui-Gon's anger. He had always been kind to her, and she knew that to him this would look like a betrayal.

"We cannot take Anakin to Korriban," Qui-Gon continued impatiently. "You have to turn around."

"Yes you can!" The child argued. "I can handle it."

"Korriban?" Bant repeated in horror.

"We're already several hours out," Obi-Wan snapped. "We don't have time to go back. Xanatos doesn't have time."

"Turn around," Qui-Gon ordered. The ex-Jedi recognized that tone, it meant he would not accept an argument.

"No."

The Jedi Master stared at him in shock.

"I won't do it; we can't waste the time it would take to go back. We'd have to return him to the temple – " he pointed accusingly at Anakin – "and refuel the ship. We just can't spare the hours that might become days."

"I will not take him to Korriban – "

"What will you do then?" Obi-Wan shook his head. "Commandeer the ship?"

Bant was stunned speechless, and it seemed Qui-Gon was as well.

Obi-Wan was the first to speak. "I was under the impression that you wanted no part in helping Xanatos." He looked at Bant with indifferent eyes.

"And I still don't," Bant said with more self-assurance than she felt. "I came to help _you_."

Her old friend didn't look flattered or relieved. "In order to help me, you have to help Xanatos. There's not one without the other anymore."

She felt the sting of his words, and knew that she deserved them. More than that, even. A good friend would not have turned her back in the first place.

"I would like to speak with Bant alone," Qui-Gon announced. "Jedi Knight to Jedi Knight."

Obi-Wan's eyes were downcast as Qui-Gon left the room, glancing at Anakin for only a moment. Bant did not know what was in that gaze. It appeared that, whether you've had the trials or not, a childish move left wiser people with no other option but to treat you like a child.

~*~

Obi-Wan

"So you're Qui-Gon's new apprentice?" Obi-Wan asked softly. The meeting was uncomfortable to say the least, but that did not diminish his curiosity.

"Yep," the replacement answered, unfazed. "How do you know my master?"

The former Jedi was taken aback. "I'm sorry?"

"How did you and Qui-Gon meet?" Anakin repeated carefully, as if speaking to a slow person.

Obi-Wan was surprised almost to the point of panic. "What has Qui-Gon told you?"

"Nothing."

He turned and faced the viewport. "I'm going to do the same."

The child sighed and muttered something under his breath in a language Obi-Wan did not know, and at the moment didn't even care about.

_Is Qui-Gon really that ashamed of me?_

~*~

Qui-Gon

He entered an empty sleep room silently, knowing that Bant had followed.

"You brought Anakin," he turned to her in disbelief. "How could you be so irresponsible? You of all people should understand the danger that Xanatos presents - "

"You're the one who doesn't understand," Bant interrupted, almost coldly. "All this lying to your padawans, keeping things from them, it's why Obi-Wan left."

Qui-Gon flinched at the words.

Guilt crept into Bant's eyes, and she broke his gaze.

"I believe that bringing Anakin was the right thing to do."

"It's not your decision - "

"You have no right to leave him at the temple! What if something happened to you? What then?"

With those few words, Qui-Gon realized what Bant's actions were really about. His eyes softened. "I didn't realize that Tahl's death still pained you."

The Mon Calamari's hands shook. "This has nothing to do with her."

"Are you sure?"

Qui-Gon stepped closer to her. "I miss Tahl as well, but had you gone to New Apolson the only thing that would have changed is the _way_ you suffer. Rather than imagine what her death was like, you would have seen it. She was not meant to be saved."

Bant shook her head. "I wish you wouldn't try to dissect my thoughts."

"Tell me again that I'm wrong, and I'll believe you."

"Then I'd be lying," she sighed. "Maybe that _is_ why I brought Anakin. I thought I was over Tahl's death."

Qui-Gon sighed as if carrying the weight of a thousand worlds. "It's this mission; it's barely begun and it's already digging up painful memories. Xanatos has that affect on people, even when he's not present."

"I honestly want – and need – to help Obi-Wan."

"He's not who he once was," he said sadly. "He can't be helped, or even trusted."

Bant regarded him carefully. "Do you truly believe that?"

After a moment's hesitation, Qui-Gon nodded. "I do. Xanatos has corrupted him, and now they've dragged the Jedi into this, and we hardly know what's happening. We don't know who's lying and who – if anyone – is telling the truth. We're flying into this more blind than I have ever been in my life."

He looked at the door. "There is one thing I want to know."

Without another word he exited the chambers and strolled back into the cockpit.

"Bant," he said placidly. "Would you take Anakin to bed?"

The boy looked confused, obviously not having been tucked in since he was a toddler. However, he followed Bant without complaint. "Goodnight Obi-Wan," he said casually as he left.

"Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon's voice was stern, or maybe just cold. "I'm going to ask you a question, and I expect you to answer it to the best of your knowledge."

"I can't promise – "

"No," Qui-Gon interrupted. "You will tell me this one thing. What did Xanatos do to the Sith?"

"I don't know, and that's the truth."

His former master nodded without further argument.

"Then that is the first thing I intend to find out when we get him back. For once, Xanatos will be honest with me."

~*~

**A/N**: So I have no idea how I got this chapter out in a week. Thus far, this has been the most difficult chappie for me to write (of this story). Maybe that's why I worked really hard on it, so it would be out of the way. For those of you looking for a Xanatos fix, I apologize. He'll be in the next chapter, and have a good part to (not just torture). Plus there will be at least one flashback next chapter, maybe two. I've got one that is required for the story's plot, and another already written up, but it doesn't really fit anywhere, so I don't know what I'm going to do with it yet. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter. Please review!


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Got a secret, can you keep it?

Swear this one you'll save

Better lock it

In your pocket

Taking this one to the grave.

And I'll show you

That I know you

Won't tell what I say

Cause two can keep a secret

If one of them is dead

-The Pierces

Obi-Wan

"_I don't understand."_

_Xanatos didn't respond. He didn't snap with impatience or smile at the boy's naiveté like he should have. Like he would have. There was something seriously wrong._

"_Where are you going?"_

"_I'm not going anywhere just yet," the older man stared out their bedroom window expressionlessly. "But you'll be leaving temporarily."_

_Obi-Wan wished he would look at him. It didn't have to be with reassurance, or love. He would take hate at this point. But he wanted _something_. "Why?"_

"_This is the way it has to be done."_

"_That's not an answer," Obi-Wan rose from his seat, frustrated almost to the point of tears. "Just tell me what's going on."_

"_It's too complicated, and we don't have time."_

_The boy wanted to grab Xanatos. He wanted to be held, but he couldn't bring himself to go near the older man. He felt humiliated, and he didn't understand why. If Xanatos wanted him to leave, why didn't he just say so?_

"_Why can't we go together?"_

_This time Xanatos did sigh, but Obi-Wan couldn't decipher what it meant. "Why can't you, just this once, do what I say because I said it?"_

_His tears almost broke at his lover's irritated reply. Xanatos was often a little short with him and his "false ideals," but Obi-Wan was too confused at this point to handle it._

"_Where are you sending me?"_

"_Malastre. It's packed full of people, all you have to do is blend in for a while."_

"_And then you'll come get me?"_

_Xanatos seemed to hesitate. "Of course."_

_This time, tears really did run down his cheeks. "You're not just trying to get rid of me, are you?"_

_Finally, Xanatos adjusted his gaze to Obi-Wan's face and ran the back of his hand under the boy's eyes. "Do you really think I would bother with this charade if that's all I was after?"_

_No, he would be blunt and cold. Obi-Wan was sure of that. "So what then? Where will you be?"_

"_I don't know yet. But there's something I have to take care of. A… broken deal with some very angry clients. They demand my immediate attention."_

"_I demand your immediate attention."_

"_Well, that's normal."_

_Obi-Wan would have laughed if he wasn't so emotionally disoriented. "I thought we were done with lies and secrets."_

"_I don't believe anyone can escape that," Xanatos closed his eyes and ran his lips gently across Obi-Wan's cheekbone, making the boy shiver with longing. "I will come for you."_

_He suddenly gripped the younger man's face, not hard enough to bruise, but strong enough to keep his attention. "There is something you need to understand. You are not to go to the Jedi no matter what you think is happening."_

"_What?" Obi-Wan demanded, shocked._

"_Do _not_ contact Qui-Gon." _

That was the last time he had seen Xanatos outside his dreams, and he betrayed him. Obi-Wan tried to reason this away, but he couldn't. He had done the one thing his lover had asked him not to. But was it more important than Xanatos's life?

Obi-Wan was beginning to wonder if he had done the right thing. He had drug Qui-Gon into this under what might have been false pretenses. Everything he told his former master was nothing more than what the boy _thought_ he knew. He had a horrible nightmare a week after his departure from Telos. In it Xanatos was on Korriban, shackled and in pain. There was a man there, covered in tattoos…

"Hi."

The former Jedi nearly jumped out of his skin at the interruption. It had been too long since he needed to defend himself. With Xanatos he had always been safe, and things were almost calm. He was rusty.

He glanced down at Qui-Gon's new apprentice, more than a little surprised. "Hi," he replied awkwardly.

"I couldn't sleep," he said simply. Anakin, Obi-Wan reminded himself. That was his name. "I like starships, and yours is especially wicked."

"It's not mine," Obi-Wan said, amazed at how harmless the boy seemed. Yet something about him was disconcerting. "It's my friend's."

"The one we're going to save?"

"Yes."

"Master Eerin says that Korriban is the worst planet in the galaxy," he didn't seem frightened. If anything he was intrigued.

"Some people are of that opinion," _he_ was of that opinion. Obi-Wan was intentionally being distant with the boy, he didn't want to know him.

"I've never heard anyone talk to Qui-Gon the way you did," Anakin said, switching topics without warning.

Obi-Wan felt a little ashamed at his display earlier, and in front of a young Padawan. His feelings towards the child were mixed, but he didn't want to cause any problems amidst their master/padawan bond. He didn't think Qui-Gon could handle another loss. It would destroy him.

"Your master and I have a… very troubled history," Obi-Wan said carefully.

"Like what?" clearly tact was not this boy strong suit. Obi-Wan briefly wondered if this was what he sounded like to Xanatos when the other man grew so annoyed, and felt the ache of his loss all over again.

He looked out the viewport at the stars streaking by. It wouldn't be long now.

"I think you should return to bed."

~*~

Xanatos

He knew something was wrong when the doors hissed open.

Not wrong, per se, but different. There was no sadistic pleasure in Maul's eyes when he entered. That could only mean one thing…

There would be no pain.

Xanatos was instantly ashamed of his relief. He swore that he wouldn't let Maul see how much he had truly succumbed.

"My master has come," Maul said ominously. "He will ask you where Obi-Wan is, and you will tell him."

Xanatos almost sighed in irritation, but he was too weak. The Sith clearly didn't understand that there was no point in beating a dead bantha. He wasn't going to tell them anything.

"Well?" Xanatos asked, staring into the other's eerie yellow eyes. "Are you going to be a good boy and take me to him?"

Maul reached down and grasped Xanatos's vibro-cuffs, yanking him to his feet harshly.

"You will show my master respect," the Sith leaned in close. Xanatos could smell his rancid breath.

"All the respect he deserves," he responded.

Maul forced Xanatos out of his cell hard, and the man stumbled, almost collapsing completely. He was weak, weaker than he could ever remember being. He didn't even know how long they'd held him captive, or when he had something to eat last. He was half dragged down the hallway, and he didn't know how many times they turned or which direction they were heading in. If he somehow managed to escape from his cell he doubted he could get out of the building.

_Temple_, he reminded himself. _We're in a Sith Temple._

Oh, the irony.

He knew immediately when they were outside the door that would lead him to Sidious. He could sense it in the air, a charge of energy and darkness. Darker than him, but not as dark as he'd experienced. Sidious had nothing on the Sith Lords of old who whispered their secrets to Xanatos so many years before.

But he was evil enough to kill Xanatos and destroy Obi-Wan without a second of remorse. And that was enough to make the Dark Jedi's blood boil all over again.

Maul pushed the old-fashioned door open and bowed before his master. "I have brought the traitor."

Sidious waved them in. He was sitting in an ornate chair like an emperor, and a small table in front of him. On the other side of the table was another chair, which Maul shoved Xanatos into.

"I trust you're well?" Sidious asked him. Try as he might, Xanatos couldn't make out the face beneath the hood. There was something so familiar about him…

"I've stayed in nicer places," he responded, trying to keep his voice level.

"Oh, I'm sure you have. With the Jedi you promised me."

"You misunderstood our deal," Xanatos raised an eyebrow. "I told you that having Obi-Wan with me and away from the Order would be beneficial to your cause. I never said I would hand him over to you."

"Do not tell me what our terms were," Sidious snapped. "I tell you what you may have and what I am taking. It is not _your_ decision."

"Apparently it is. Because you still don't have Obi-Wan."

Sidious didn't move, but Xanatos could tell that he was bristling on the inside. "That is unfortunate."

He waved his hand and Maul reached into a cabinet, bringing out two plates of food. It was fresh meat and vegetables, and they were steaming when he laid them on the table in front of Sidious and Xanatos.

"You're his waiter now?" Xanatos smirked, but it was only half-hearted. The smell of the food was more intoxicating than any ale he'd ever had.

But he didn't touch it.

Sidious seemed unperturbed by Xanatos's immobility. He cut his steak in half slowly. "You're not hungry?"

The other man didn't know what this was. The food wasn't poisoned, of that he was sure. They wouldn't waste the time, they would simply kill him. It couldn't be truth serum either, because they could just inject him with that. He was immune anyway. So what was Sidious's game? Win Xanatos's trust? As if a plate of food could do that.

_Maybe he just wants to see how broken I am._

"Not really," Xanatos responded.

"A pity," Sidious placed a piece of meat in his mouth and chewed it slowly before continuing. "It's very good. A think even a man of your standing would find it exceptional."

Xanatos's stomach ached in protest, but if ate anything he knew he wouldn't be able to stop. He would accomplish nothing but to show Sidious that he was weak and easy to manipulate.

"What is this about?" the Dark Jedi asked the Sith. "Why Obi-Wan? There are other Jedi more talented than he is."

"That might be true, but he's already defected."

"Then there's no challenge, so what's the point?"

Sidious smiled. Xanatos couldn't see the top half of his face, but he could see that eerie look. "But there is a challenge. "_You're_ the challenge Xanatos. You're the struggle, the hound to be beaten into submission. Obi-Wan is just the token that I win."

He shifted in his seat and looked rather amused. "Besides, we've already found out where your little Jedi is."

Xanatos started in shock. _No_.

"And he's coming to us. With more Jedi, including your old master."

For once in his life, Xanatos had nothing to say. Obi-Wan had betrayed him. He'd promised to leave the Jedi out of this affair, and he hadn't kept his word. An unbridled fury swept through him, and his hands shook a little.

If there was one thing he couldn't stand, it was betrayal.

Sidious looked at Maul. "Return him to his cell."

~*~

Qui-Gon

He was in way over his head. He didn't know if Obi-Wan was lying, or if he knew the truth at all. And now Bant and Anakin were there, and he had to worry about their safety as well as his own.

_How did things get so tangled?_ All he had wanted for years was to keep Obi-Wan safe, to guide him along his path to knighthood. And he had failed.

A wave of darkness swept through the ship, and Qui-Gon's stomach turned. It was a grief and hatred worse than Tarria had ever been. He was able to keep his lunch down. Barely.

They had arrived at Korriban.

~*~

**A/N**: So this took me longer than I had planned, but here it is! I start school this week, but I'm still hoping that the delays between chappies won't be very long. Thanks for reading, please review!


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Oh, no, I can't believe this.  
I don't know why this had to happen.  
I had no choice.  
Well, it was me or him.

There's a fine line between what is justified or just obscene.  
Fragile lines to use and throw aside.  
How to die, nobody wants to know.  
Who decides where everybody goes.

How we die, no, I will never know.  
Who decides where everybody goes.

-The Academy Is…

Obi-Wan

It was suffocating.

Worse than Tarria, easily. The temples there were evil, they shook Obi-Wan to his very core. But not like this. He hadn't been truly active in the force for some time. If the affect was so strong on him, he truly felt sympathy for his Jedi companions.

Qui-Gon didn't say a word. He hadn't spoken when he re-entered the cockpit, and Obi-Wan hardly expected him to speak now. It was hard enough to keep from vomiting without trying to hold a conversation.

Even though Obi-Wan wanted nothing more than to push towards the planet surface in a vain, desperate attempt to outrun the vertigo, he eased off the throttle. Better to enter nice and easy, they would be harder to trace that way.

Something warm touched his lip, and he quickly reached up to wipe it away. His hand came away bloody. He glanced back at Qui-Gon, whose nose was bleeding as well. The strain had clearly found some release.

_He doesn't care about you._

Obi-Wan brushed away the sudden whisper as quickly as he could. He had forgotten about the voices.

_You're being used._

_Please, don't hurt me, I didn't know._

_They're dead. They're all dead._

_You're too late._

"Steady Obi-Wan," a comforting voice broke through the fog. "Just focus on what is happening, and they won't be able to reach you."

He blinked several times, his vision hazy.

"Place your attention on landing the craft, all of your attention. You'll be fine."

The controls vibrated beneath his hands, and he eased them back to their proper position, slowing down for the descent. The ship shuttered and dust bloomed around the base before settling.

With a deep, shaky breath Obi-Wan powered down the engine. He glanced back at Qui-Gon in confusion. "…Thank you."

Qui-Gon stared at him a moment before, ever so slightly, nodding once and rising from his seat. "Do you have a plan?"

Disappointed, Obi-Wan returned to face the console. For a moment he thought that, just maybe, their relationship could be healed. But now it seemed just as unlikely as ever.

"To be honest," he rested his face in his hands. "I don't. I have no idea how many Sith are in there, or if Xanatos is injured. He might not even be able to walk, let alone fight his way out."

Qui-Gon was silent for several minutes, and Obi-Wan was beginning to wonder if he had heard him at all. Then he knelt down on the ground, closing his eyes.

Instinctively Obi-Wan followed his example, kneeling down to meditate. With concentration he might be able to sense Xanatos's location, and how many guards he had.

Time ceased to exist, everything fell away around him. Qui-Gon was no longer there, _he_ wasn't even there. He hadn't realized how disconnected he was from the force until he returned to it. It welcomed him back, embracing him like a mother. What had he lost?

Then, in the rush of energy and particles, he felt Xanatos. He grabbed at that, dragging himself toward it. He was injured, but _alive_. Stress and fear that Obi-Wan didn't know he was carrying fell away instantly. Everything was going to be okay.

The Sith was next. That existence hit him like a duracrete wall, and he immediately retreated back. The last thing they needed was for the Sith to sense _them_.

Obi-Wan pulled himself out of his dream state, awaking to Bant meditating beside him, and even young Anakin was focused beside her. He hadn't even realized the others had entered the cockpit. They awoke soon after he did.

"There's only one Sith Lord," Qui-Gon said, satisfaction evident in his voice. "That will make things easier."

"Xanatos will need medical attention," Obi-Wan stated.

"We have the facilities onboard. I think I know what we need to do. Can you still hold your own with a lightsaber?"

~*~

Bant

She tried not to let the panic take over as her boots thumped a tattoo against the stone floor. She also tried not to think that Qui-Gon wouldn't have made a sound. Every time she turned a corner she expected to see the Sith Lord, and berated herself.

_I'm not a Padawan anymore_. She reached out to her fear, let it in, and then released it. She knelt down at the edge of the corridor, waiting to feel Qui-Gon's alert in the force. He would tell her when the Sith was clear and she could go in search of the Dark Jedi.

_This is so backwards, saving him_, she thought. _After everything he's done to the Jedi. After he stole Obi-Wan from us_. Bitterness wasn't in her nature, but it was hard not to hate Xanatos.

Qui-Gon told her that this was the most important aspect of the mission. If they didn't get Xanatos out they would never know what the Sith wanted with him, or what they hoped to gain. Never know until it was too late, that is.

She was going to get Xanatos back to Coruscant if it killed her.

~*~

Obi-Wan

He understood the necessity, he really did. But he wanted nothing more than to burst into the temple and see for himself that Xanatos was really, really going to be okay. He would have to trust the force, because that was not his role to play. The Sith would be expecting him to come for his lover, and they wouldn't be surprised that he involved his old master. Bant, however, was an unpredictable variable.

He stood beside Qui-Gon, clutching Bant's lightsaber in one hand. He expected for it to feel odd, but it felt like a part of him had returned. This was what he was born for, even though he had chosen other things. Sometimes he thought that he was never truly meant to leave his master's side.

"Are you sure this will work?"

Qui-Gon nodded slightly. "He'll sense us and come out to investigate. A Sith would never pass up the opportunity to kill a Jedi. Stay on your guard; he's more dangerous than anyone we've ever faced. I can feel his hatred from here."

He swallowed, trying to access serenity like he was taught. Xanatos was in there, and if this didn't work he might never see him again.

A trace of anger carried on the wind when it blew past him, and he glanced to his right. A hooded figure draped in black was standing about 20 yards away, dirt and sand blowing in a tornado around him.

"Qui-Gon –" he started, but the older man had already turned, his eyes steady on their opponent.

The figure reached up and pushed his hood back. Obi-Wan felt like he was staring at something out of a nightmare. Red and black markings danced hypnotically in some deadly tribal ritual before him, and small pointed horns crowned the man's skull. He smiled cruelly, his teeth yellowed and rotted.

"Are you ready?" Qui-Gon asked, reaching inside his cloak for his saber.

Obi-Wan didn't know.

~*~

Bant

She felt the tug ever so gently at the corner of her mind. Qui-Gon had to be subtle, otherwise the Sith might sense her. But the tiny alert was all she needed.

She was clear to look for Xanatos.

~*~

Qui-Gon

Despite the circumstances, it felt like old times. Obi-Wan beside him, trusting him. And he trusted the boy. They might not be able to communicate anymore, but there was something innate about their bond that never really went away. They moved seamlessly with each other, countering the Sith's attacks. They matched every blow, but something felt wrong.

_The Sith is holding back_, Qui-Gon released. _But why?_

He thought it was unlikely that the Sith would toy with them, not at the risk of being beaten by accident. So what was happening?

Their opponent spun over their heads, Qui-Gon could feel the lightsaber's heat as it flew just an inch from his cheek. He had anticipated the maneuver and was already turning to block the attack from behind.

The lightsabers sizzled as they connected. Qui-Gon had fought dark Jedi, like Xanatos, before. But this man was so different from his former apprentice. His attacks weren't as calculated or clever, but there was a fierceness and intensity about him that Qui-Gon wasn't sure he could match. As the minutes slid by with no sign of the others he began to grow concerned. What if Bant couldn't find Xanatos? He wasn't sure he and Obi-Wan could beat this man.

He pushed the thoughts away as quickly as they had come. The force had led him to this battle, and it would guide him back out of it.

He parried the Sith's blow, pushing him. Obi-Wan circled to the other side, attacking his blind spot. That's when things started to get really complicated. With a flick of his wrist another blade shot from his saber's hilt, blocking Obi-Wan's attack. He twirled it between himself and his two enemies, stepping back to regain the upper-hand.

Qui-Gon had never seen a weapon like that, and he tried to quickly recalibrate his attacks to accommodate it. Obi-Wan was struggling, he could see that. He would need to stay close to the boy to protect him.

He heard a slight hum in the distance, and relief flowed through him. At that same moment something behind the Sith caught his eye. He lunged for one more attack.

~*~

Xanatos

He tried not to cringe when the door slid open. How much longer could this last? A part of him kept hoping that Maul would slip up and actually kill him. At least then it'd be over.

"Xanatos?"

He had really been wishing that his mind wouldn't go first, but that was apparently in vain. All the torture must have pushed him over the edge; why else would he dream _her_? Every time he slept he saw Obi-Wan, but her?

"Are you awake?" She knelt down in front of him.

"Just kill me," he heard his voice say. He was starting to lose this battle in more ways than one.

"You're safe now," she said, almost… _gently_. "I'm here to save you. Obi-Wan is here too."

Xanatos jerked awake, suddenly feeling very lucid. "Obi-Wan came here!?" he spat at her, anger rushing through him. The boy had come right to the Sith, and he'd allowed it.

"It's alright!" She grabbed his arm, pulling him to his feet carefully. "He's outside with Qui-Gon. They're distracting the Sith that was holding you."

"Qui-Gon?" he hissed, and yanked himself free. "We have to go get them."

"No," Bant replied forcefully. "We're supposed to go back to the ship. We'll fly in low and pick them up. I was told getting you out of here is top priority, so that's what I'm going to do."

He stopped to think. They appeared to have a plan, and Maul wasn't the brightest saber in the bin. There's no reason it wouldn't work, and he wouldn't be able to protect Obi-Wan from a bantha in his present state.

"Where's the ship?"

~*~

Obi-Wan

This wasn't like riding a speeder.

A lot of things came back, but not everything. He had forgotten so much. As the Sith and Qui-Gon both sped up in ferocity he started to panic. What if he did something wrong and everything was lost because of him?

Qui-Gon lunged at their opponent, and Obi-Wan followed his lead. He covered his master – his _former_ master – as much as he could. Qui-Gon had moved to be the aggressor, so Obi-Wan picked up the speed of his attacks, trying to disorient the Sith. It was working, he was suddenly on the defensive. He backed up several steps, combating the attacks. And then Obi-Wan saw what Qui-Gon must have seen to begin with: a ledge. Buried in the dirt, almost impossible to see. There was a slim chance that he might not sense it.

Obi-Wan began to attack with the same intensity as Qui-Gon, pushing and pushing the Sith as hard as he could. The more focused he was on them the less likely he would sense the trick.

_It's working_, he thought, relief flooding through him. _We're going to get out of here, alive._

Then, without warning, the Sith back flipped, clearly the ledge and stepping out of reach. They had lost the trick, and the high ground.

Before he had time to think a steady hum in the distance rose to a roar, and Obi-Wan looked up to see their ship dashing towards them, the ramp extended down. The Sith saw it too, and he rushed towards them, hatred cascading off of him. But he had leapt too far during the fight, and he couldn't reach them in time.

Summoning the force, he and Qui-Gon leapt onboard. The last thing Obi-Wan saw around the closing ramp was the Sith's yellow eyes.

~*~

**A/N**: I am so sorry about the long delay. This was a really difficult chapter for me to write. You may have noticed that I usually skim over the fight scenes as fast as I can (I'm not very good at them), but I didn't want to do that here. I didn't want the rescue to last several chapters, but I also didn't want it to seem too easy. For next chappie, hurt/comfort! Yay! So anyway, I hope you enjoyed the chapter, please review!


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N**: So this chapter isn't overtly graphic, but it is more graphic than anything in the rest of the trilogy. Consider yourselves warned.

**Chapter 8**

Don't even talk about the consequence  
Cause right now you're the only thing that's making any sense to me  
And I don't give a damn what they say, what they think think  
Cause you're the only one who's on my mind  
I'll never ever let you leave me  
I'll try to stop time for ever, never wanna hear you say goodbye

I feel so untouched  
And I want you so much  
That I just can't resist you  
It's not enough to say that I miss you  
I feel so untouched right now  
Need you so much somehow  
I can't forget you  
Been going crazy from the moment I met you

-The Veronicas

Obi-Wan

He stood outside the door, frozen. Xanatos was on the other side, being tended to by a meddroid. One door, five steps, and Obi-Wan would be with him again. He was so close. This is what he had worked for, the reason he had coerced Qui-Gon into helping. This was everything.

So why couldn't he move?

_He was lying in a field, the sun high overhead. It was the crux of growing season, and multi-colored flowers blanketed him. Their skyfly soulmates, with bright fluorescent wings, flitted over his head. Behind them, the sky was cerulean, like his eyes. But the sky was cloudless and his eyes were never that, not even after leaving the Jedi order to be with Xanatos. There was always something worrying him, something dragging him down. _

_Lying there he remembered about skyflies. It was distant, he couldn't recall who had said it, or where. Some religion somewhere believed that skyflies were returned spirits come to watch over their loved ones._

_He raised one arm, thinking about all he had lost. His dead friends, his living friends, his family he could barely remember. He reached as if he could grasp them all again, and a skyfly changed direction in mid-air, returning to his hand…_

_Pale fingers slid between his. Xanatos knelt down beside him, their hands woven together. They made eye contact, which his lover held as he flipped Obi-Wan's hand around, biting his wrist gently. The younger man's breath hitched. He gripped the other's robes and pulled him down. Their lips met and they kissed as if they'd been apart for centuries. As if they didn't just hunger for each other's bodies, but their spirits and souls too. They spent every night together, but lying in that field Obi-Wan thought he might die of desire. _

_Somehow during their embrace Xanatos had removed his robe and shirt and moved one knee so that it rested between the former Jedi's thighs. Obi-Wan gripped Xanatos's back, feeling ridges and scars from battles he would never know about. His lover's hands expertly removed his belt so he could push the boy's tunic open._

"_What were you doing out here?" He asked, his tongue sliding lazily down the other's chest._

_Obi-Wan was finding it hard to concentrate on the question. He didn't have an answer anyway. What could he say? I was thinking about how much I had lost coming with you? How much I missed my friends? He almost laughed. Xanatos would be furious, and this moment would be ruined. _

"_I was hoping you would follow me out here," Obi-Wan said, proud that he could compile a full sentence with Xanatos pressed against him, sucking on his collarbone. "So we could make love under the sun."_

_It wasn't a complete lie, he was aching with need._

"_You could have just asked me to join you, rather than make me search." He ran his fingers along the edges of Obi-Wan's mouth. His breathing increased when the boy wrapped his lips around one, sucking on it. "Then again," he continued. "I have always enjoyed the hunt._

"_Don't move," he ordered in a stern voice, pushing back. Obi-Wan lay as still as possible, watching his lover's muscles move beneath his skin as Xanatos pulled his boots off, tossing them a few feet away. He rolled back over, pressing his erection against Obi-Wan's hip. He casually sucked on the other's earlobe, his hand sliding downward…_

_Obi-Wan gasped as Xanatos's hand went beneath his waistband. He grasped the teen's erection tightly at the base, dragging his hand upwards slowly._

"_Do you want me?" Xanatos asked. Obi-Wan would have rolled his eyes if he wasn't finding it hard to breathe. _

"_Yes," he responded, knowing that his lover wouldn't continue without an answer. _

"_Right here? In the dirt?" Obi-Wan couldn't see his face, but he knew that the other man was smirking._

"_Anywhere," he answered, and it was nothing but the truth._

_Xanatos moved then, yanking off the boy's boots and pants, exposing him to the blazing sun. Obi-Wan watched with lust as he removed the remainder of his own clothing. He pressed against the teen, their bodies radiating heat. _

"_Do you want me inside of you? Do you want me to have you in this flowerbed until you can't walk?"_

_Obi-Wan's cheeks flamed and his erection stiffened even further. How could he be embarrassed and turned on at the same time? _

_Xanatos stroked him again, and his lover almost came then._

"_Yes, I do," the boy gasped. _

_The older man pushed his fingers in the other's mouth, and Obi-Wan lathered them with saliva. When they were dripping with moisture Xanatos removed them, one hand stroking his lover as the other slowly slid a finger inside him. He rotated it around before inserting a second._

"_Xanatos please," the former Jedi moaned as he began to slide them in and out. "Don't tease me, I'm ready."_

"_Patience Padawan," Xanatos bit Obi-Wan's bottom lip a little too hard. "This is important. If you're not prepared it will hinder us for the next week."_

_Obi-Wan almost pouted. He was completely desperate for Xanatos's body. It felt like a lifetime before the older man removed his fingers and Obi-Wan felt the tip of his lover's cock graze his opening. He shuddered with anticipation. _

"_Are you ready?" Xanatos asked mockingly, but before the other man could reply he shoved himself in to the hilt. Obi-Wan's body arched and Xanatos groaned as the heat enveloped his member. He grabbed one of Obi-Wan's legs, moving it so that the calf rested on his shoulder. Gripping the boy's hips tight he began to thrust in and out slowly, enjoying the view of Obi-Wan sprawled on the ground naked. The sun highlighted every freckle and scar on his body to perfection._

_Obi-Wan had shut his eyes, sweat sliding down his face, his breathing heavy. Xanatos had been with countless people across countless worlds, but he had never seen a sight more orgasm-inducing before._

_He moved the boy's leg so that it was wrapped around his waist. It was a closer position; their chests were sliding against each other now._

_Obi-Wan opened his eyes. "I love you," he said, with such innocence and honesty that Xanatos's rhythm almost faltered. He came quickly then, like a coil springing loose inside his body. He buried his face in the crook of his lover's neck, and Obi-Wan held him tightly, their bodies still intertwined._

That memory was precious to Obi-Wan. On Telos, He hadn't doubt Xanatos's love. But the man was so distant that those moments of true intimacy were rare.

The time he had with Xanatos, just the two of them, was beyond words. It was the happiest he had ever been. And now he was terrified that things would never be the same.

He took a deep breath and stepped through the door.

Qui-Gon

"Good job Anakin," Qui-Gon said, placing a hand on the young boy's should as he piloted them off Korriban. "You reached us not a moment too soon, or too late."

The boy smiled with pride as he prepped for lightspeed.

He turned to Bant. "Is Xanatos in the medbay?"

She nodded.

"Good. How severe were his injuries?"

A small shudder passed through her body before she answered. "Not life-threatening, but… bad."

Qui-Gon sighed. "I might be less of a Jedi for saying this, but it's probably safer for us that he be incapacitated."

Bant didn't look offended. It was the truth, afterall. "I guess we will be going our separate ways as soon as he's well. The Council will not want us to hunt these Sith with a virtual one onboard."

"We will be going our separate ways," Qui-Gon agreed. "Because Xanatos is going back to Coruscant to stand trial."

Qui-Gon had thought about this a great deal on the trip to Korriban. The one good thing that would come out of this situation would be Xanatos finally brought to justice. Finally held accountable for the suffering he had caused.

She blanched, clearly shocked. "Stand trial for _what_?"

Qui-Gon raised an eyebrow. "For everything Bant. Don't let your love for Obi-Wan and your sympathetic nature make you forget that Xanatos laid siege on the temple, kidnapped you, destroyed the natural resources of Telos, ran a slave ring, is a known Sith associate… and force knows what else he's done. We'll never catch him again. If we let him go now, he'll vanish so deep in the galaxy that it won't be possible."

She was silent, and Qui-Gon returned to look out at the vast expanses of space. He knew he was doing the right thing. No matter what Obi-Wan said Xanatos was a danger to the galaxy. If he allowed them to go the dark Jedi would just keep hurting people, exploiting them for his own sick gain. As a Jedi and a protector of the galaxy, Qui-Gon could not allow that.

"Does Obi-Wan know what you're planning?" Bant asked defiantly.

"No," Qui-Gon answered, burying the connection he had once again felt to Obi-Wan. On Korriban, it was almost as if they were master and padawan, just like before. But that didn't matter now. "He can't be trusted; he is a Jedi no longer."

"He's our _friend_."

"No, Bant." Qui-Gon walked over to her, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. "I know that you care for him. I care for him. But we cannot let our selfish emotions perpetuate Xanatos's evil. Obi-Wan has become an extension of that, and he did so willingly. He chose this path."

Her silver eyes looked down at the floor.

This is for the best, Qui-Gon reminded himself. Not only will it keep Xanatos from doing further damage, but it would get Obi-Wan away from his lover. Nothing but good would come of that.

Obi-Wan

"Xanatos." He was amazed that he could speak, because he certainly couldn't breathe.

Laying on a medcouch, the other man turned his head towards the door. "I was wondering when you would come."

There was a smirk on his face, but his voice scratched. Obi-Wan shook his head, trying to reconcile the bruises and dried blood covering his lover's body.

The meddroid tutted as his eye receptors rotated in Obi-Wan's direction. "I strongly advise against visitors at this moment."

"Nobody cares what you advise," Xanatos snapped. Even though the words weren't directed at him, Obi-Wan felt nervous. He had done the one thing his lover had asked him not to do, and he could tell by the way the other was studying him, that thought was on Xanatos's mind as well.

"I'll tend to his wounds," Obi-Wan's voice cracked slightly as he spoke to the droid.

"Sir, he needs professional attention - "

"I'll summon you if I need assistance," he took the bacta from the droid, who scuttled off in disapproval.

Without a word Obi-Wan began to examine his lover's injuries. He pushed open the other man's shirt and gasped before he could stop himself. His chest was a mass of horrific burns, still red and raw.

He almost asked what happened, but then he didn't want to know. He silently smeared the healing bacta on the other's burns. Every night since Xanatos had vanished Obi-Wan had dreamed of what he would say to the man he loves once reunited. But now that it had happened, he had no words. It was like all that time on Telos, everything they had shared, no longer existed. They were strangers. He couldn't even look into those cobalt blue eyes that he loved so much, even though he knew that piercing gaze was on him.

All this pain. All this suffering. And for what? He was injured, maimed, had put Obi-Wan through torture, for what purpose? If someone had asked him how well he knew his lover he would have argued that even if he didn't know all he knew what mattered. And he _understood_.

But it was all a lie. Xanatos had kept everything important from him. Obi-Wan had given up his career, his friends, his very identity to be this man's lover, and Xanatos couldn't be bothered.

_What am I to him? A trophy? Just another sign of his triumph over Qui-Gon?_

Obi-Wan felt sick, and not because of Xanatos's injuries.

"You betrayed me."

For a brief moment the boy thought that he had spoken those words. But it wasn't him, it was the dark Jedi who built his very life around betrayal and lies.

That sentence, those five syllables, woke Obi-Wan up from his reverie in anger.

"You would know _exactly_ what that looks like."

His lover's eyes were emotionless. "You can't play the victim here. When we parted I asked you to do one thing for me. Just one."

Obi-Wan shook. "I needed their help. Should I have left you to die?"

"Yes."

He stared in shock.

"You should have let me handle it," Xanatos continued.

"For force's sake Xanatos, can't you admit you were _wrong_!"

The dark Jedi's gaze narrowed into an icy glare. "Concerning what?"

"Everything," feeling less angry and more sad, Obi-Wan's eyes drifted to the floor. "You were wrong about everything. About keeping this, whatever this is, from me, about hiding it from the Jedi, and… about us."

Despite his injuries Xanatos managed to push himself into a sitting position fairly quickly. "Come here."

For a long moment Obi-Wan didn't, and wasn't going to. Then, with a resigned sigh, he moved closer to his lover. Without warning, Xanatos yanked him down so far that he almost collapsed on the medcouch.

"I'm never wrong."

They kissed then. The kiss that Obi-Wan had left the Order for. The kiss that he'd been willing to die for. The boy threaded his fingers through Xanatos's ebony hair, inhaling his love. When they broke apart tears were leaving river trails down his face.

"Why are the Sith after you?"

The older man's eyes were stern. "It's better that you don't know."

"Don't give me that. Please, just tell me."

"Obi-Wan," Xanatos said, gently. Gently for him, anyway. "Everything I've done I've done for you."

"I don't need you to protect me."

"Yes, you do. You have no idea how fragile you are."

"I'm not fragile," Obi-Wan snapped. "I was a Jedi. I've sustained horrible injuries, some of them from _you_."

"That's a cheap shot."

"But it's true."

Xanatos sighed, and the look on his face made Obi-Wan sure he had won. "I had some… business with the Sith in the past. The deal that we made went South, partially. And now they want pay back."

"Can't you just refund their creds or something?"

"It's not quite that simple."

Obi-Wan sighed, but it was affectionate. "Nothing with you ever is. So what do we do?"

Xanatos smirked.

"I haven't decided yet."

Maul

"So, Xanatos has escaped," Sidious repeated Maul's declaration.

"I'm sorry master, I have failed you," Maul was crouched low to the ground in humility, his eyes downcast. "I will accept whatever punishment you see fit gratefully."

"What?" Sidious asked, appearing to come out of a train of thought. "Oh my young, foolish apprentice. You overestimate my faith in you."

Maul was shocked, but didn't raise his eyes. "Master?"

"Of _course_ Xanatos escaped. I'm amazed you held him as long as you did."

"I don't understand."

"No," Sidious said scornfully. "No, you wouldn't. He was always meant to escape my young apprentice. And do you know why?"

"Why, master?"

"Because now he's with the young Jedi. Both of them."

**A/N**: I'm back! After a very, very long absence. I rewrote this chapter about three times, but I think I'm finally happy with it. And I even managed to sneak in a Labyrinth quote, so yay me! I hope you enjoyed, please review. :)


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